PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: just a ? for the parents |
Sat 10/06/07 02:23 AM |
Iwould tend to agree with many of the posts. When a single Mom has a lot going on in her life you may have some conflicting obligations and tons of feelings.
It is just possible your Mom is trying to make your last few days at home as comfortable as possible for you. If you and her husband are not on good terms maybe she was getting him out of your hair so you can do what you have worked hard to make happen in peace. Things like take personal stuff, have friends over, sleep in her room and raid the fridge between packing and unpacking until you get it perfect. She also may not see it as a Goodbye at all. Is she taking the key away from you or telling you it is no longer your home? Maybe she sees the "dorm" as another bedroom she is paying for and you are still in her domain. Are you going to her alma mater? Will you be near family or trusted friends. Maybe she doesn't find it as dramatic or final a step as you do. Is it the first time you have lived away from home or a continuation of a general lifestyle of shared custody?
Sounds like your Mom trusts you not to do anything stupid or spiteful and may be giving you space.
Maybe she is giving you a chance to change your mind at the last minute and not go without and audience. Are you sure you are really ready to go? Not everybody is the same year they graduate. Sounds like you are getting options and it just feels like nobody cares.
I am really sorry you feel sad about all this but it is not an uncommon fesling for college bound young adults to feel a little bummed that it doesn't feel like the end of the world to all parents. After all she is gaining Daughter in college that is pretty awesome. Maybe she is out celebrateing and expects you to be doing the same.
Maybe writing her a heartfelt letter and telling her all the things you are going to miss, your concerns, your fears will draw yo closer; maybe it won't. I would temper it with a lot of love and respect because I would bet the house on if it is a parting shot you will regret it the longest day you live.
Just for the record I bet both your Mom and your step Dad are having some anxious feelings mixed with a lot of pride in you. Go Conquer the World Young Lady....Hugs |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: Boys? |
Fri 10/05/07 11:52 PM |
First off the developemental levels between a baby and a 4yr old should be as obviously different to you as would be the difference between you and someone four times your age. This wasn't going to work from the start so don't beat yourself up just because your older child doesn't perform like on 7th Heaven. You trying to make the impossible possible? Ok live and learn. No serious harm. Don't get on a guilt trip.
Don't make this into something it isn't. Your preschooler loves the baby and the baby loves him they are just mismatched. GIven time the will catch up but a four year age span it is not likely they are going to ever be the best of playmates for many years probably not until some time in their early thirties. Sorry that is the breaks.
However breath a sigh of relief and read on. A certain amount of chest pounding and agressive behavior, commonly known as rough houseing at 4 yrs is actually a normal developemental marker so relax.
He just doesn't understand and quite probably has not mastered his new growth spurt and strength but he is testing it on everyone and everything. He might try for easy and only get ouch. He has probably plowed into you and I suspect put a few bumps and brusies on your shins you have already forgotten about. If he hasn't slung a baseball and plastered you in the face it is coming. Eye and hand coordination ebbs and flows with each streach and fill as your kid grows. Also Four year olds freqeuntly break toys, even beloved toys and injure pets, or are injured by pets reacting, as your preschooler tests and practices their new found play/fighting skills. It doesn't mean he is a candidate for the next Charlie Manson. But it is also not a good time to add a pet companion. If you have and older pet around you might want to segreagate them also.
He also doesn't have the brain developement or experience to understand the the baby's vunerability any more than he understands you are much stronger. It is going to probably be a long process 6 months to a year teaching him easy, gentle, and cause and effect. Obviously you don't over power him so the natural consequences are not teaching him limits as quickly. Eventually he will tangle with a playmate that will overpower him and he will develope some sense of the pecking order and it's conseqences. Probably a nasty bite, a black eye, bloody nose, or the wind knocked out of him. It is not likely that a baby could return behavior but another smaller preschooler with older siblings might. He will cry and you will be tempted to comfort but a calm "don't start something you can't finish" remark and walk away will be much more effective. You can give him a sense of dominance by pinning him face down on the floor with just your upper body but be prepared for a scratching,biting, head butting fight. If it is the first time you have truely dominated your preschooler versus the wimpy go set on a mat punishment it will be a shock and a draining experience for you both. If any one interceeds it will only last longer. If you are going to give up then don't even start because you will have just made a four year old King of the Jungle. I realize there are many who will say oh know I cant do that but sooner or later your child will be dominated and and hopefully it won't be by someone who will actually hurt him.
What is essential to realize preschoolers have no concept of permenent injury or death. The baby quits crying he thinks it is over. Preschoolers have actually killed siblings and not known it. You can show him the marks later but he doesn't remember doing it past a few hours. He just can not connect the responsibility his actions. Especially things like bruises that don't show up immedidately. Or stitches or casts that appear hours after xrays are taken. Sometimes they do associate bite marks or scratches but their impulse control is still so under developed it is just not going to connect.
A four year old may laugh when disciplened because he is experimenting with your response to his reactions and trying to go back to playing. They really don't enjoy inflicting pain but they do enjoy the attention you are giving them. Especially if it takes away from you paying attention to the baby.
The reality is you are going to have to segregate baby and preschooler as playmates. Not every second of every day but the majority of the time. Do this as quietly and calmly as possible. Don't tell your child it is because they were bad because all they are going to get out of it at four is you think they are bad.
The GOOD NEWS is All chldren have times where they are calmer and in better control of themselves than others. Look for the optimum and short times your Preschooler can share with the baby and keep the play at a mellow level. Babys swing toys ad throw things so try to avoid letting the baby do behaviors you do not want reciprocated. Praise and reward the Preschoolers positive behavior and when your he seems to be looseing track of being gentle withdraw the baby and your attention but do not berate him or punish him or you will feed the jealousy and break down the bonding with this boreing baby playmate. It sounds cruel but really all your Preschooler knows is smack baby like a drum, he makes noise. later they learn Mom comes running, and I get attention. inadvertently you are re-enforceing the behaviour you want to stop. Sadly with divided attention of a new baby negative attention is better than no attention.
One thing I would recommend if you see that your four year old is getting more cranky is see if he is actually over tired. As they get older the tell tale signs may change some. Is he sighing more. Is he clinging to toys. Is he more territorial. He may not suck his thumb or rub his eyes because he might have caught on hiding the old signals is wise but a littel observation and experiementing you will still read his more mature body language. It might be other factors but here are some common ones. Is the baby waking him up at night? Have you deleted a nap time too soon? Is the preschooler getting up earlier to go somewhere? Are you bathing your preschooler later or letting him other wise be stimilated (TV while you play with the baby) so he doesn't get as much pre-bed time rest as he used to? Have you added colored multivitamins because he is on a typical four year old food jag? Not as a punishment try adding in 30 minutes sleep for at least five days and see if things improve.
Last but not least check around and see if your Preschooler is getting anything that might be giving him an allergic reaction and negative behavior. Now that he is off the bottle and sippy cup are you allowing more soda or chocolate? He has more teeth what new foods? Is he wallowing in the dusty grass more? Have you added a pet? Have you graduated to more highly perfumed mainstream big boy soaps. Have you changed his bed? Are his sleep toys getting old and grubbier than maybe you noticed? Is he watching much more aggressive TV programs? A new baby is undoubtably not the only new thing in life but it is the big one so it tends to get all the blame when maybe it really is several things. Good luck figureing it out. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: i don't know what to do |
Fri 10/05/07 03:25 PM |
For the record Any of those of you who find yourself in the situation of Father in this scenario I forward the following advice to you.
First find out if you are in fact a father. Don't guess,don't wish, don't pretend; act. It is painless and the court would much rather know sooner and deal justly then complicate an essential relationship with missinformation.
Second Sex does not make you a father. You know your intent better than anyone else so get that clear in your mind because it is going to be an issue and if it is your kid they want the truth.
Third. Accept that a lot of the job of Father hood is not glamourous, heroic, appreciated, rewarded, or even acknowledged and rarely assisted. Society still unfortuneately thinks you played and you pay but you never pay enough. Fair? No it is not. Get over it. You are not going to have the energy to do the job if you waste it on getting anyones approval. The system that is out there is not just for Mother's get what help you can and get on your feet. Dad's can apply for support, food stamps, daycare, and a host of services in their child's name. You can chose to go to classes and you have custody rights as well as responsibilities. Is it fairly applied in all situations? No. This is the real world again Get tough or die. If you really want to go from being a Zero to a Hero stay in a few more rounds of the fight. You just might surprise yourself.
Fourth Motherhood does not assign Fatherhood. She may have picked you to get the chance at bat but something bigger than they both of you gave you the privilege. If you really need inspiration on how to be a good father look to a Greater Power. It will give you strength when you feel beaten, humility when you need a beaten, and tenderness and peace when you need it most.
Fifth if you weren't around to "be pregnant" so what. Start here and now and work hard to catch up. Take the time to learn how to be a father, bond with the idea, committ to the job and do the labor on becoming a Dad. It will scare the snot out of you but it is a miracle worth learning about and not to be missed. All these guys out here that sound like wimps will awe you when you see what a challenge it really is.
Sixth if you really can't face the whole task still be a supporting Hero and do what you can to better your child's life. I don't support abandoning a child. It hurts their soul like nothing else. But every person regardless of there situation can contribute. Write letters even if you have to hold them for years or send them by emmassaries. Make them feel your pride in them and your encouragement. Acknowledge milestones. Build selfesteem in your child by making it clear that they are treasures. If you can give them nothing else give them an identity. Get pictures to them tell them their history. It may not be all roses but you have something in you that is good. But sometimes keeping your distance until you clean up your act is reality. Don't apologize for refuseing to do a critical job badly. Kids are not stupid and they may hurt that you were sick or absent but they will be grateful that you loved them enough not to drag them in the sewer you have made of your life.
Seventh Real Father's assess their situations when he finds himself in a mess and does the best he can to reposistion his life so he can go forward. Few things can not be undone but death. You can learn skills, clear addictions, chose new friends, get aways from toxic people, and be a better lifetime parent even if you were not great as a "baby's Daddy. It is NEVER about money or a lot of brains that determins a good father it is commitment.
Eight ANYONE can learn to be a great Father and it is easyier to day in our modern world than it has ever been. Look around and pick a few "good" ones. Then talk to them, watch them, read about them, and try some but not all the things you see. Being a Dad is like a Mom. All make mistakes and you learn more by your mistakes than your successes.
Ninth Listen when your kid howls he is communicateing with you. It is not a foreign language you can not learn. And it isn't a put down. Yea the grins and giggles will make your knees buckle but that is only part of the info exchange.
Tenth Be that ten percent that make it out of the system. It is YOUR CHOICE. When you get that ten per cent be hungry for another ten percent. Get a job. ANY job can lead to a better job. Then get another ten percent and be educated. This is the only country in the world where excon's can get scholarships to any state funded institutions, in labor unions, and enter any public library. Want another ten percent? Buy property. Property gives you responsibility but it also gives you power. It can be a desolate patch in the middle of nowhere or a beaten down neighbor hood but it gives you a start at the halfway mark. Go for another ten percent and buy a house. To heck with a car nobody gives credit for having a car but a house can be made a home if all it offers is a mailbox. Your kid now has a the makings of a a real Father. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: i don't know what to do |
Fri 10/05/07 02:09 PM |
Well Badguy you might be the small percentage of guys who get popped for something relatively minor and take it as a major wake up call. I applaud you and hope that you lead others to do like wise.
If you read the post she wasn't asking what was fair to the prisoner. Or at least that was my take on the deal. If you read among the lines though I did suggest specific ways he could turn his life around. The military, JTPA, and a job first before he took on a role he wasn't prepared to handle.
Where do I get my info? Try working in a state pen as a social worker, half way houses, women and family shelters, puplic health programs, mental institutions, and a long list of programs that try our best to clean up the mess some people make of not only their own lives but others for as long as some of the folks in this forum have lived.
Do I have a predjudice against all cons. If you knew me before you attacked me you would know that is absolutely untrue. I have more "sons" who are ex-bad guys than I have fingers. Yea I have been burned it goes with the territory but I have hardly quit helping. If you read my profile I think I mention a couple I know I have in other posts. But for the record I have, on my own nickle many times, gotten down in the trenches with anyone, regardless of their record, and helped them dig their lives out. I don't take credit for it because it is only love and money I applied where it needed to be to give them a hand up. The same hand up I have been given and tell others to give. But I have been Mom, homemaker, coach, employer, teacher, counselor, and drill sargent to to young men and women who others had long written off.
I wasn't a candy coated honey everything is going to work out fine baby girl with this teen Mom. I told her the facts as I know them to be. And I bet in your heart of hearts if you lined up most of the guys you knew from your relatively minor brush years ago you would say the same.
I want to add that it is not that I say these things about ExCon's as something I think are necessarily fair or the way they should be. It shouldn't. You should be able to go to jail, do your time and even get help turning your life around. I will be cast down into the pit as a bleeding heart libral when I am actually a traditional conservative but I have read to many case files to delude myself that anyone gets to prison haveing had a totally fair shot at life.
But reality is reality and most that go to prison come out with much greater problems than they ever went in with. They get NO help and often the only advice they get is how to get out as fast as the system can push them out. No education. No place to live. No job. Still or new addictions. And I stand by my statement major health issues. Not the least of which are serious psychosis and head injuries from major over crowding of our prison systems.
This young woman need to know her odds and what she was most likely inviting into not only her life but her childs.
She didn't ask for help for the Father and in didn't sound sure he was the father. She may think he is the father, he may want to be the father, Lord knows I have seen so many desperately lonely prisoners convince themselves they were when they weren't, but no specifics saying she knew he was or he said he was. Fantasizing about playing family and being in a normal situation is normal "visualization" for escapeing a miserable situation more often than any acceptance of resonsibility.
I have reread my post and I do NOT believe I EVER said lie to a child about his parentage. I agree with you that is abusive regardless of who the Father is. Nor did I tell her to down grade the father to his child if in fact he was. I told her to be a responsible parent. Get her act together. And keep it together.
I believe I said tell him and see if he doesn't dump her and the Daddy idea like a hot potatoe. IF this prisoner knew better and was still committed he might think twice but he would be in the jail counselors office checking out his options to prove paternity. That he wasn't around during the pregnancy even if by jail house mail says something about this situation and his paternal abilities. He is a johnny come lately and I stand by my advice. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: BAGGAGE |
Fri 10/05/07 01:00 PM |
| LOL did get everybody to sit up and take notice out her in cyber land..lol |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: BAGGAGE |
Fri 10/05/07 12:51 PM |
Unfortuneately if you have kids there are folks out there that see that as a past carried into the future.
For many years my preference was for "package" deals. I loved kids and loved being a Mom. Still rare for me not to take any kid and give them all the time they need or want. Shareing parenting can be a great joy regardless of who gave birth. It can defintiely seal the deal in a great relationship.
However IF you have never had the misery of getting into a relationship where a persons kid was turning your life inside out to trying to be fair and still always getting the worst end of the deal you are REALLY Lucky.
When I see a post that says "my kids are my whole life and my only priority" I pause.
First; What does that tell a kid that will really be useful to them in their life. That they are the center of the universe and you are a moon. Not a really secure feeling when it is all said and done. Parents have to be the Sun.The other way around is sure not going to be reality in any other situation.
Second it is a terrible burden to anyone to have to be another's whole world.
Third. Self is part of Self esteem. You have to be an identity other than parent or eventually you are going to feel like an empty vessel. Our kids tend to pass through and move on with their lives at least somewhat independent. It is really tough being an empty nester if that is your whole identity.
Fourth how much self esteem does a person have or not have to submit to always being last? I can really see being equal but never last always. Even those who have great motivation and character would wilt in that environment.
Maybe it is incredibly old fashioned but I would hope a child still benifits from seeing a pair of parents who are equal and devoted to each other as much as they are to the child. I don't know how long that the myrter parent role will hang on in popular view but I do think it has contributed to a lot of resentment, anger, abandonment, and in some cases out right abuse of kids. Or kids growing up to be abusesive to their spouses and children. How you sew and nurture the sapling so shall the tree grow. There is and old saying that says "How you love the (parent) is the greatest gift you give a child."
Obviously moving into a dating relationship I think it would be lunacy to abandon your child but parents who date need to set aside personl time to find love, nurture love, and slowly develope a co-parenting role if they not only want a love of their own but to model ideal love to their child to repeat in their lives. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: Hiran's Blog |
Fri 10/05/07 12:17 PM |
| What's anybody think of the new progaram Kid Nation? |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: Hiran's Blog |
Fri 10/05/07 12:13 PM |
| Shuuuuush don't tell anyone grilled cheese sandwich is the way to my heart lol Cearing off and clean Sacramento got a little of Placervilles first snow fall as rain early this morning. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: Hiran's Blog |
Fri 10/05/07 12:10 PM |
| Goldwing your beard looks awesome. Thank God you have a good haircut to go with it. Looks like your son is a good family man so we will excuse the Daddy haircut on him.lol |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: i don't know what to do |
Fri 10/05/07 12:52 AM |
You are conning yourself if you think the courts are going to put someone in jail that long for simple theft. Probably armed robbery or at least felony assault. Probably both and gang affiliations.
This turkey is not going to pay childsupport with no address or job. No employer is going to buy he is a stay at home daddy. He wants to live off your public aid and probably use the baby as bait to pan handle or sell drugs. Chances are your kid is not the first and won't be the last standing in the childsupport line. If you are lucky enough to be able to access a computer you need to look up Family Promise and get yourself in their program today.
If he wants to turn ZERO to HERO he would be on his way to bootcamp, JTPA, or any of the zillion resources that the government is trying to get younger offenders to turn their life around on instead or writing you sob stories and trying to finding a place to land if not with you, your parents, or some other Grandparent figure in his life. Cons no the family shelter programs are cushey compaired to the all male programs.
Tell this jerk you were/are still a minor, put the baby up for adoption, got pregnant by some other guy, or the baby is in someone elses custody and I bet good money to bad he will drop you like yesterdays trash. He isn't going to come up with big bucks for DNA testing fees to prove otherwise and neither will his people. If you must find out the truth for yourself because sounds like there is awhole lot you don't know but the spit of his letter will tell you. My bet he isn't worth spit or he wouldn't have been getting a younger girl pregnant.
You need to be aware He is a lot more likely to come out of jail with serious drug addictions, STD's, and or steroid related health issues, even head injuries. If he wasn't in a gang he will be now.
What you need to do is get your behind in a community college while your baby is still little enough to be in daycare and you have a chance to turn your life around. Since odds are with out an education you are going to get pregnant again and end up on welfare you need to think seriously about getting your tubes tied or at least some type of long term birth control. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: players |
Thu 10/04/07 12:41 PM |
Sad part about it one person's definition of a player is another person's just being nice and then having it blown out of porportion or being selective. While there is someone for everyone Not everyone is for everybody. That doesn't mean you are wrong or been played because someone recognised and passed on the whole picture when they got to know you better.
If you are feeling ripped off spend less energy and invest only what you are willing to give with out return up front and I will bet you will be luckier in love.
True there are always those who just make your heart sing by responding like you found Cinderella or Prince charming but being in love with love does make you vunerable to the Toad Association members. Taking a deep breath and holding back just a little lets you see who is the real deal. Nice folks figure out they have to outlast the Rabbits in the race. The old "Winter & Summer courtship" theroy not only lets you keep from wearing your heart out but it lets you really enjoy being warm without getting burned. One thing that does seem universal to players is they have a few distinct markers.
#1 They are intense up front.
Their focus makes you the center of the
universe when they hardly know who you
are.
#2 They don't let you think about what they
say or do and demand response.
#3 They track what you do; when you work,
rest, who your friends are. They know who
will check up on them and try to impress
them or distance you from them. They call
you constantly and or buy you a pager,
phone, or computer.
#4 They are jealous.
#5 They whine that nobody loves them. Or say
they would be deleriouly happy if
somebody did.
#6 They profess to love but their is no real
time invested to prove it.
#7 They like the light to shine on them
24/7. You can stand it it as long as you
don't put them in a shadow.
#8 They tell you that you are a prize. But
you feel like a possesion.
#9 They have a history of "lost" or
abandoned loves. Previous loves
were gay,"*****es", whores, or died. Some
are legit widow(er)s but most don't use
it as "bait" or an excuse to just want
" freinds with benifits". You are being
used.
#10 Self pity or being a victim is an
undercurrent in their social
personality.
#11 They become hostile or withdraw when
you ask questions.
#13 They tell you know body has loved
them and they are over 21.
#14 Part of their intensity makes you feel
unsafe or even threatened. trust your
gut if you think you are being played
YOU ARE!
#15 They tell you others are defective for
not loving you.
#16 They tell you they are the only one who
can love you. Doesn't matter if they
add "like they do" or any other add on
it is the same message. RUN for your
LIFE!
#17 They use pets, children, or even other
friends to gain entry or stay in your
heart.
#18 They give you gifts, money, a car, a
home, or a job to make you indebted.
#19 They give your children gifts or unusual
attention. They should want to establish
your relationship before they ever spend
any time with your kids.
#20 They want to borrow anything.
#21 Last but not least if they are not
divorced, shacked up, have a same sex
room mate, or live with their parents or
siblings or adult children
they are not ready for a relationship no
matter what they say. The only exception
to that is someone who is dependent for
good reason and I would look at that
real hard.
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: It's Your Love... |
Thu 10/04/07 11:30 AM |
| Very pretty thought. Makes even an old heart like mine flutter. Love makes the world go around... |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: 21 TODAY!!!!!!!!!! |
Thu 10/04/07 11:19 AM |
| Happy Birthday! Always say any excuse for cake and ice-cream, hopefully other good things, can't be all bad. Have many bessings and loads of safe but memeorable fun. Since I could do 21x2 with plenty of change I will say I am not jealous but hope it is absoutely great day for you.......Joy |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: Prayer chain for our Military |
Thu 10/04/07 11:11 AM |
| Thanks for this thread. It does mean a lot to the service memebers and their families to see it. If you print it off and post it in your car, business window, or hand it to someone you know it affects it would have a bbbiiiggger effect. Sometimes the practical help means a lot more than what sometimes sounds like lip service or jumping on the band wagon. If every person who made some made in China bussiness rich donated the same funds to legit organizations that help service members directly it would sure lighten their load. Please tell the powers to be not to cut funding to the military if it means cutting essential services for families, the injured or their saftey. Those who defend and protect respect your right to disagree with the war but you can support the warrior with out supporting the war. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: Birth control pills for guys could be reality soon |
Thu 10/04/07 10:39 AM |
| Best News I have heard in a long time. Guys do take pills if it accomplishes a goal they see as valuable; steroids, vitamins, pain medications, and the little blue pill to name a few. After years of family counseling I have to say it is not always the guys who "forget". If a man does not want to be "pregnant" or "parent" I think having a reasonable alternative is going to be one of the most popular drugs to hit the market in our lifetime. Men like to be in charge of contraception but until this hits the market they have not really had a chance. It will be interesting to see how women who have had the control to slip in a "unplanned" pregnancy fair. I have a feeling there will be more divorces of non-daddy types. Sure there are going to be some reservations but any guy who has a kid that they are struggleing to support already or been "caught" in the I took my pill trap will jump at this. Wish I had a royalty. lol I bet it won't be as darn expensive as women's version. I will say I would never trust a guy to say he was on the pill. Seen too many guys who are ga ga over the idea of pregnancy when they are not the one to experience it first hand. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: Disorderly = death..... |
Thu 10/04/07 10:22 AM |
| This situation just goes to show that when someone is having a mental health crisis they truely are on their own and defintely at risk if the police get involved. Any reasonable person would see that this person was a risk to others true but also a risk to herself. To leave her unattended was neglect in my view but hardly unusual in my experience. Perhaps if she were bleeding to death she would have had a chance but seeing that her mind was in melt down was hardly hard to diagnosis even by the most limited mentality. Isolation does not calm hysteria and is not a treatment; this was only incarceration and it is neglect even abuse. I hope her kids have a first class attorney that sues the pants off of this airport and it's security officers. It won't bring back their mother but it may mean that there is some justice in the world that neglects a Mother in health even if it was a mental health crisis. Being hysterical over a missed flight is not normal even if it turned out that it was for essential treatment for a condition that was ruining her life and the lives of her children which I suspect is why she reacted the way she did. Sending "patients" to treatment on common carrier unescorted is lunacy in itself. But in most theraputic situations they have no liability until you reach their doors and are signed in. Even then it is iffy. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: Ahmadinejad's Holocaust Myths |
Thu 10/04/07 09:54 AM |
| Hmmm How do you define factory and how do you define death camp. If you think being rousted from by your home at gunpoint even as a child and forced into labor an torture with only the megarist of rations and clothing in the dead of winter until I drop dead is just a "job" than I hope to all that is powerful I never "work" for you. Are the numbers skewed? I doubt it. Entire villages were swept up and the few that were selected for "jobs" were outnumbered by hundreds that were killed outright. That thousands who "escaped" direct annilation but died having their health and other resources stripped from them will more than make up for the "documented" deaths. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: If you were to... |
Thu 10/04/07 09:26 AM |
| LOL I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. O more aptly enjoy my second childhood. Probably some art or music classes; manybe real estate. Be really cool to help people buy their first home. |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: Hey, Im new here |
Thu 10/04/07 09:13 AM |
Hi,
Yea another Georgia Peach! LOL I am old enough to be your Mom but welcome to what seems like a great site to me. I am now retired on the left coast but will extend a little hospitality .... Grandma Joy |
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Topic: what do u say to a girl u just met to keep the conversation |
Thu 10/04/07 08:48 AM |
| Sometimes talking is highly over rated. For some the gift for gab is essential and others just quite comfortable companionship is enough. If you have a love interest and you are contacting her regularly that person may not care about every thought or feeling that floats through your head and past your lips. Does this person sound like she is happy to hear from you? Maybe you are shy and that is just what she is looking forward. Obviously I am a very comunicative person but the great love of my life so far just said the essentials like I care about you, I am here, I want you to want me, how can I help, you make me feel special. His words were treasured because they were rare jewels. |
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