MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: Only in my world |
Mon 11/03/08 10:20 AM |
QUOTE:
I almost fell out of my chair laughing. You got me good!  |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: Forum's |
Mon 11/03/08 05:34 AM |
| b'cause sum peeple caint spil or tipe. |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: Only in my world |
Mon 11/03/08 05:27 AM |
| I'll try to shorten this up as much as possible. On Friday night a close friend called me and said he and his girlfriend wanted me to see their Halloween costumes. She (Lori) was dressed as a saloon girl but his costume was awesome. He (Michael) was wearing a body bag and his face and hands we're painted a very pale white with semi dark circles under his eyes. The body bag had "county coroner" on the back. He looked really cool. There was holes cut for the arms to stick out and the bottom was open for his feet and he wore the bag sort of like a hoodie. Anyway they leave to head to an area that was having a Halloween contest. He and Lori are walking around outdoors drinking beer and he has to use the bathroom. So he heads into a restaurant and up the stairs to the men's room. The bar is upstairs and the restaurant is down stairs. He stops by the bar and and buys a beer and heads back down the stairs. He had one arm inside the body bag in his pocket and the other hand has the beer. He gets to the bottom steps and thinks that was the last step and steps off. Well it wasn't the last step. He tries to get his balance and he travels about 20 feet and right into the lap of an elderly lady who was sitting there with 3 other elderly ladies. He's trying to get his head off her lap, she's screaming, the rest of the women are screaming and the only free hand he has his beer in it which he's now pouring all over this poor woman while trying to push off her. Lori is sitting on the stairs pissing herself from laughing. Ya see, my friends are just as wacked out I am. Oh my ribs hurt lol. |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: SAD NEWS!! |
Thu 10/30/08 02:04 PM |
| That's terrible |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: It's hell to get old I tell ya |
Thu 10/30/08 01:56 PM |
So I'm talking to a friend on my cell phone and I'm about to lock up my office. I begin feeling my pockets and then looking all over my desk for.....my damn cell phone! The one that I was talking on! Geeez  |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: hey just saying hi |
Thu 10/30/08 01:52 PM |
| Maybe a different hat? Anyway welcome and have fun |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: T'was the night before |
Thu 10/30/08 01:10 PM |
'Twas the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!
I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political crap.
When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys
They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day!
He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink
He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!
' On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, On Pelosi'
He screamed at the pairs!
They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight!
So I leave you to think
On this one final note-
IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM
GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: "REAL HAUNTD HOUSES" |
Thu 10/30/08 09:31 AM |
QUOTE:
For all those that enjoy a good HAUNTED HOUSE to visit at this time of year or anytime. Here is a site you can go to they list all the REAL HAUNTED HOUSES by State. And give you a little bit of information about each one.
http://www.realhaunts.com/
Has anyone went to any Real Haunted Houses and actually seen or heard something that could not be explained?
Myself beyond the Halloween Spook Houses I have never went to a Real Haunted House but would think it would be and adventure within itself.
I went to a haunted house about 4 years ago with my wife and her loud mouth sister who was about 50 at the time. We were walking down a dark hall and they were both behind me holding onto my shirt. This man jumped out in front of me with a chainsaw. I jumped, turn around and knocked both women over as I ran for the door. When we got outside my sister in law had my foot print right in the center of her back! |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: New girl on the block |
Thu 10/30/08 09:25 AM |
Keep on posting in the forums and you'll meet lots of people. It may not be the man of your dreams....unless you have nightmares. ENJOY!  |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: <~~~Newbie :) |
Thu 10/30/08 07:46 AM |
Have fun and ignore people dressed like this
<-------------------- |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: "HALLOWEEN PARTY'S" |
Thu 10/30/08 07:38 AM |
<--------Going to dress in the same costume as last year. A breathalyzer.
And incase you're wondering the breathalyzer "tube" has about 6 different shades of lip stick on it! Disgusting I know lol |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: Another halloweiner |
Thu 10/30/08 07:32 AM |
A cabbie picked up a Nun and as she got into the cab noticed that the VERY handsome driver wouldn't stop staring at her. She asked him why he was staring.
He replied, "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you."
She answered, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, it's always been my fantasy to be kissed by a nun."
She responded, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver got very excited and said, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun said, "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfilled his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush, but when they get back on the road, the cab driver started crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me, I've sinned. I lied and I must confess that I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun replied, "That's OK -- My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party!"
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR!
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: Enzyte |
Thu 10/30/08 07:25 AM |
| If you listen to those commercials they are hilarious. Like when they show Bob on the golf course and the announcer says "Bob's swinging new wood" |
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: You're going to love it I promise |
Thu 10/30/08 07:22 AM |
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole
incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"
The drunk, still staring down at the bed sheets in amazement, replied:
"I think I just beat the SH!T out of a ghost."
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: Always use spell checker |
Wed 10/29/08 09:08 AM |
QUOTE:
spell check isn't always your friend. It does not pick up if you leave the "L" out of Certified PubLic Accountant.
to funny!
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MyrtleBeachDude
Joined Tue 12/18/07
Posts: 3746
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| Topic: Always use spell checker |
Wed 10/29/08 08:24 AM |
QUOTE:
now we understand even better the "short bus".
I will have to agree, I have no defence |
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