PSP540
Joined Sat 10/25/08
Posts: 15
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:10 AM |
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I recently just broke up with my girlfriend and she meant the whole world to me. About a week ago we were having a really rough time and so her mom said "you guys should start all over" so we did but we didnt talk. She feels negative towards me because she feels as though as she were my mom takign care of me and i was unable to treat her as she deserve. i really want her back but two days ago she got with someone else. This person was able to "catch her as she was falling" and now shes with him..i really want her back in my life but i dont know what to do. today shes goign to be seeing her new bf family already.. she gave me alot of chance to change but it was too late for me.. i still lvoe her with all that i am.. now that shes gone i really do know how much she means to me..its driving me insane to know shes not with me anymore..the tears jst wont stop
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Edited by PSP540 on Sat 10/25/08 09:32 AM
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Thomas27
Joined Sun 10/21/07
Posts: 2437
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:15 AM |
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Pray for her Happiness. If it was meant to be, she will return.
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Queene123
Joined Tue 06/26/07
Posts: 5991
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:15 AM |
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your still young, and there always others out there. she met someone that fast, have you thought maybe she met him before and now meeting his family i think thats a bit to soon
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Fade2Black
Joined Mon 10/08/07
Posts: 41041
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:19 AM |
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QUOTE:
Pray for her Happiness. If it was meant to be, she will return.
how true
(((( Thomas ))))
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PSP540
Joined Sat 10/25/08
Posts: 15
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:20 AM |
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she met him b4 in middle school but he would always make fun of her..it really sucks for me because i really love her i gave her my all practically and i cant forget her she was my first love too
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Thomas27
Joined Sun 10/21/07
Posts: 2437
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:21 AM |
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QUOTE:
QUOTE:
Pray for her Happiness. If it was meant to be, she will return.
how true
(((( Thomas ))))
(((Judy)))  Hope you have a great weekend!
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RoamingOrator
Joined Fri 07/20/07
Posts: 1914
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:21 AM |
Want some advice? Never go back. Never take them back, do not give second chances. If they did it to you once, they will do it again. People do not change.
I had to learn this lesson the hard way, but I think everyone does.
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:21 AM |
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The cards were stacked against you in this one if Mom is getting involved to break it up. You have and opportunity to focus on being more independent and taking care of yourself so the issue that ended this relationship will not define future relationships. Work on your future and today will take care of itself. Good Luck.
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breathless1
Joined Tue 09/23/08
Posts: 282
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:27 AM |
I'm sorry you are hurting over this. It's never easy during a break-up.
A few things I would point out to you as hopefully lessons learned on your part:
1. You can never "start over" with a loved one. You can, however, "move forward" and choose to interact differently with one another.
2. If you didn't talk things over - BIG MISTAKE! You can't accomplish #1 without #2.
3. Really look at yourself and determine if what she said was true. Was she taking care of you? Were you too clingy or dependent on her without giving anything back to the relationship?
4. Granted, you are young so likely she is too, but if she moved on to another in just a week's time? Well, that speaks volumes to me about her character and how she "really" felt about you.
Best of luck to you, PSP. Time will heal the hurt. 
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breathless1
Joined Tue 09/23/08
Posts: 282
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:35 AM |
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QUOTE:
Want some advice? Never go back. Never take them back, do not give second chances. If they did it to you once, they will do it again. People do not change.
I had to learn this lesson the hard way, but I think everyone does.
With all due respect, I do not agree with this perspective. People do have the ability to change and are constantly evolving...right before our very eyes.
I can honestly say I'm not the same man/person I was 20 years ago...are you? 
Sure, I've screwed-up and made mistakes in my life and in my relationships. I try to learn from those mistakes and extend forgiveness to others for theirs.
I've given others in my life a second, third and numerous chances before - depending upon the cirumstance, of course. Sometimes I've been disappointed. Other times, I've been pleasantly surprised.
I'm not perfect and the minute I start thinking I am, I get punched in the gut with the reality of my own humility and human-ness.
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Fade2Black
Joined Mon 10/08/07
Posts: 41041
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:42 AM |
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QUOTE:
QUOTE:
QUOTE:
Pray for her Happiness. If it was meant to be, she will return.
how true
(((( Thomas ))))
(((Judy))) Hope you have a great weekend!
Thanks hon you too .. good to see ya 
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PacificStar48
Joined Tue 10/02/07
Posts: 2144
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:47 AM |
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The thought crosses my mind that instead of talking to her mother for advice you need to build a support network of your own that is going to give you the confidence to be your best self. If you are one of the millions that don't have the best foundation at home you may have to go outside to the community for a mentor. Look around and search out someone who has good habits and a reasonable road to sucess that you can copy. My guess is somewhere within your own family is someone who knows you, loves you, and can guide you as you pull back up from one of lifes hard landings. If not look into your faith, maybe a past teacher that liked you and can guide you, a community support organization like Habitat, Red Cross, Salvation Army, Jaycees, or even a sport group like Recreation center near you;many coaches are about people building not just winning. If you get busy your pain will fade.
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PSP540
Joined Sat 10/25/08
Posts: 15
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| Sat 10/25/08 09:55 AM |
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QUOTE:
The thought crosses my mind that instead of talking to her mother for advice you need to build a support network of your own that is going to give you the confidence to be your best self. If you are one of the millions that don't have the best foundation at home you may have to go outside to the community for a mentor. Look around and search out someone who has good habits and a reasonable road to sucess that you can copy. My guess is somewhere within your own family is someone who knows you, loves you, and can guide you as you pull back up from one of lifes hard landings. If not look into your faith, maybe a past teacher that liked you and can guide you, a community support organization like Habitat, Red Cross, Salvation Army, Jaycees, or even a sport group like Recreation center near you;many coaches are about people building not just winning. If you get busy your pain will fade.
hey thanks the part about building my own stronger support really got to me thanks 
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MsCarmen
Joined Wed 05/07/08
Posts: 3496
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| Sat 10/25/08 10:05 AM |
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QUOTE:
it really sucks for me because i really love her i gave her my all practically
If you gave her your all she wouldn't feel like this
QUOTE:
She feels negative towards me because she feels as though as she were my mom taking care of me
and you wouldn't have said this
QUOTE:
and i was unable to treat her as she deserve.
Look, you are young. And when we are young, we make a lot of mistakes. And 9 times out of 10, we never see what we had until it's gone, and because of being young we sometimes don't realize that there could have been a lot more things we could have done to make the other person happy. The most important thing you need to take from this, is learn from your mistakes. Whether you get a second chance with her or start a relationship with someone new, try to make a conscious effort to not make those mistakes again.
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RoamingOrator
Joined Fri 07/20/07
Posts: 1914
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| Sat 10/25/08 03:09 PM |
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QUOTE:
QUOTE:
Want some advice? Never go back. Never take them back, do not give second chances. If they did it to you once, they will do it again. People do not change.
I had to learn this lesson the hard way, but I think everyone does.
With all due respect, I do not agree with this perspective. People do have the ability to change and are constantly evolving...right before our very eyes.
I can honestly say I'm not the same man/person I was 20 years ago...are you?
Sure, I've screwed-up and made mistakes in my life and in my relationships. I try to learn from those mistakes and extend forgiveness to others for theirs.
I've given others in my life a second, third and numerous chances before - depending upon the cirumstance, of course. Sometimes I've been disappointed. Other times, I've been pleasantly surprised.
I'm not perfect and the minute I start thinking I am, I get punched in the gut with the reality of my own humility and human-ness.
The changes that happen right before your eyes, those, at least the ones I've noticed, are never good either. Usually those changes are actually accompanied by an illusion be broken. You see someone as they really are, and not as you thought they were. No, other people do not change, we do, or at least we do in as far as we see others. We either try to accept this new person and, yes, grant a second chance; or we recoil as our sandcastle falls around us. Either way, the change has been made, the only true question that has bearing is the catalyst.
You know giving someone a second chance when they whiffed at a golf ball is one thing. But taking someone back after they've started seeing someone else is just foolish. Second chances, they are fine in a lot of respects and in certain situations they should be granted. But in affairs of the heart, all it does is act like a pinsetter, it sets you back up to be knocked right back down.
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pyrochik
Joined Mon 09/01/08
Posts: 94
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| Sun 10/26/08 05:14 AM |
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QUOTE:
You know giving someone a second chance when they whiffed at a golf ball is one thing. But taking someone back after they've started seeing someone else is just foolish. Second chances, they are fine in a lot of respects and in certain situations they should be granted. But in affairs of the heart, all it does is act like a pinsetter, it sets you back up to be knocked right back down.
This has been my experience, also. If it is the hardest learned lessons that are best remembered, than I'm set for life. And so what if they do change? The person you cared about wasn't who you believed them to be, or the person you cared about. Meeting someone new, falling in love unexpectedly; doodie happens. But show the respect of LEAVING instead of CHEATING. Anyone who actually loves you would do that. I think it's the disrespect that hurt me so bad. And no, I didn't give him a second chance.
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