angelindarkness
Joined Sun 11/25/07
Posts: 3061
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| Sat 11/01/08 02:12 PM |
Whatever they may be. Unhealthy patterns of whom we attract and whom we are attracted by. Sometimes they cannot be changed. I am at the point today where I believe it may be best not to date anymore. It always ends in being lied to, taken advantage of, conned, by experts. Sometimes it just doesn't seem like it is worth the risk to find companionship, love, and romance anymore. It is not worth the danger, whether it be emotional, financial, or physical.
Is there happiness to be found in a chaste life?
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Etrain
Joined Wed 11/21/07
Posts: 14335
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| Sat 11/01/08 02:15 PM |
nope...Humans need companionship...now as to how much..just dating or getting married...I don't think that matters...but we need that one person in our lives
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OpenWounds
Joined Wed 08/06/08
Posts: 221
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| Sat 11/01/08 02:16 PM |
You know, i've not realy seriously been looking for love for a few years now, cuz it seems like everytime i stick my neck out, it gets chopped off. Recently a girl sort of appeared into my life, and the same stuff just happened again, so i'm moving back into loner territory.
But i don't think it's worth it in the long term. I appreciate i have some issues i need to figure out, and gods know i dont want to be alone forever. I think i could be happy with it, but something would always, ultimately be missing.
At the end of the day, love might just find you, whether you wanted it or not, and the very idea of not going after it will seem absolutely insane. Until then, i don't think it's worth throwing yourself after just anybody, and expecting it to work out
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HockeyChick
Joined Thu 10/23/08
Posts: 353
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| Sat 11/01/08 02:16 PM |
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i see what you are saying..i've wondered that myself...
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livelife68
Joined Sun 12/30/07
Posts: 3019
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| Sat 11/01/08 02:18 PM |
Take time to look at yourself. You can change your own patterns if you put the effort into it.
Yes I believe there is happiness in this life.
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MirrorMirror
Joined Fri 10/26/07
Posts: 40772
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| Sat 11/01/08 02:22 PM |
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QUOTE:
Whatever they may be. Unhealthy patterns of whom we attract and whom we are attracted by. Sometimes they cannot be changed. I am at the point today where I believe it may be best not to date anymore. It always ends in being lied to, taken advantage of, conned, by experts. Sometimes it just doesn't seem like it is worth the risk to find companionship, love, and romance anymore. It is not worth the danger, whether it be emotional, financial, or physical.
Is there happiness to be found in a chaste life?
 YesHappiness is subjective.
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Alzeimer
Joined Thu 10/23/08
Posts: 47
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| Sat 11/01/08 02:26 PM |
When you fall in love with someone you love who you discovered since the beginning so I always wondered why people want to change the other one habits so often after a while and now i think i know why we want to impress the new love by doing things which we wouldn't do usually. Me I try to be who I am from the start no extra things to impress if it is not really me or it is like lying. People try to hard to be who they are not to impress the other so when all the new love is past and we settle in who we are then that is when we find things that we thought about the other wasn't right (You like coming to the theater with me at first and now you tell me you hate it) things like that.
That is why I am honest from the beginning it doesn't always help me but when I do hook up she knows me not who i think she would like to be with.
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Roco
Joined Sat 03/22/08
Posts: 325
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| Sat 11/01/08 02:33 PM |
you know..quite the opposites happening for me..i'm gettn many offers..but having to turn many of them down...
roco
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angelindarkness
Joined Sun 11/25/07
Posts: 3061
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| Sat 11/01/08 02:38 PM |
Sometimes we ignore our own inner intuition or gut. We lie to ourselves and believe that the way we are being disregarded, used, or deceived is something that we can overlook or accept in the long run. Why do we do that? I don't know. Perhaps the person sometimes has certain qualities we feel are rare; qualities which we do not believe we will find again. So, we take a chance. Again....and again. And sometimes, some of us, albeit a small percentage, maintain optimism and hope, even when it may not be prudent to do so.
I have made too many mistakes for my comfort and safety. Its just not worth it anymore. But, I am afraid to think of a life without adult companionship and intimacy, even though I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that is what is best for me in the long run.
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BlueskyJ
Joined Tue 06/26/07
Posts: 2801
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| Sat 11/01/08 02:44 PM |
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QUOTE: Is there happiness to be found in a chaste life?
Happiness is always found within...so the answer is yes...
However, i understand what you are sayin'....sometimes i want to just hang it up & then I go solo for a time....but in the end it is the love & companionship that i miss the most.....
sometimes we just have to take a chance on love, even if it ends up hurting us....i wish you well....
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Edited by BlueskyJ on Sat 11/01/08 02:45 PM
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angelindarkness
Joined Sun 11/25/07
Posts: 3061
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| Sun 11/02/08 12:00 PM |
I guess our "type" is our "type", sometimes. Even if it brings us suffering. Do some of us need those thorns for the roses to be real, technicolor, and fragrant? Maybe.
At the same time, its important to be realistic. I didn't cause someone else's problems, I can't change them, or cure them. I am not to blame and I have no power over the situation.
Holding on to false hope and faith? As hard as it is to let go, and to let go with love, it is the only way I will heal and make better choices in whatever it is that I do or say each day. It is only the individual that can decide and go forth with positive change. It would be martyrish and foolish to go down with someone who isn't aware that they have destroyed and continue to destroy themselves and everyone around them who care. ....If they are not interested in, invested in, and committed to helping themselves.
I can't change my patterns, my outlook, or my personality by myself. Some of it may even be impossible to change, because it makes up the core of who I am and what I need. However, I am trying to accept that I can fortify myself with the help of others who understand, have been there. And, with the help of my higher power. I lost much of my Faith a long time ago. It is not an easy task.
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