hi, my name's jackie kaye but you can call me anything from samantha to 6789 and i won't care. i'm stuck at a point in my life where i want to move forward but i'm not sure how, or rather i'm not sure what direction forward is because i'm so disoriented and I've detoured so far from where i want to be. the last 11 months i've spent like a damsel in distress, quite literally waiting for my life to improve. there was a point when i tried to improve life myself and ended up hurting more than i had been hurting originally. i'm not sure what it is i want from my life or how to successfully go about making myself happier. it's recently occurred to me that i've spent years asking others what they think to avoid having to think about things and make decisions for myself. it's also occurred to me that i need a hobby other than reading, eating, and sleeping. if you were to look at my life you'd think it was decent and the truth is that i do have a pretty decent life and yet i'm still dissatisfied and i still find myself struggling and unmotivated when faced with a new day. i'm not sure when i became so indecisive and started questioning everything that isn't a plain fact. i'm not sure that there's anything in my life that i fully enjoy. the one thing i've found my days to be based around are meals which i have come to fear more than anything. i am in search of an activity, a hobby, something i can enjoy and that will take my mind off all the things i am not sure of. there is not a time in my life that i can remember being genuinely happy but i hope more than anything that this does not mean i am incapable of obtaining happiness.   Send me a message!

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