...are you her?

Do you lay in bed at night feeling alone and empty?
Do you sit during the day and daydream what it would be like to have someone to hold you?
Have you ever cried in the shower cause you were so alone that it actually hurt?

I know these feelings...
I feel this pain...and in truth I don't want to be alone any longer; is that how you want to live?

Alone?

Watching life go by and passing us like a movie we aren't part of?


Who am I?

I'm a guy who likes to have fun, make people laugh, and in general someone that is very grounded, yet still free and unbroken in spirit.

I have a love of many things including music, I prefer new age and interestingly enough 80s and metal bands in the flavor of Savatage. I'm definately a sci-fi geek, though I've also been called a dork. I like StarTrek more then StarWars and absolutely love Stargate SG1 and Atlantis. I loved Serenity, Farscape, and Babylon 5 while they were on and wish the the first two would have had a chance to run their courses like Babylon did.

I love movies, specifically fantasy and sci-fi, with the occasional mix of thrillers and mysteries. My inner child especially loves the Harry Potter films, while my older hardened adventurous self gleams the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I don't mind horror movies, but don't really like to watch them alone as there is no one to share the excitement with, or for that matter to hold me when I'm scared silly. Comedies are also a favorate of mine as I love to laugh and I'm told that my laughter is contageous!

I also love anime and manga, I find that the japanese are able to tell stories through their animation and manga styles that rival anything Hollywood is able to put out and take great enjoyment in watching them.

I like to get together with the guys to play our table top games, whether it's Dungeons and Dragons, Battletech, or something more trivial like a board game or cards. I'm a computer systems/network administrator, more so due to my background in computer gaming, so it's not too hard to find me online playing something like EQ2 or World of Warcraft, or some other game on the computer.

But theres another facet to me; I love to read and write. On a rainy day you can expect to find me curled up with a good book or possibly writing poetry or some short story, like tis one:

Coming Home

As the headlights of the car round the bend, a familiar slope of land forms and memories, thought lost or jaded, suddenly erupt, scribbling across my mind like an artist drawing a work on canvas. The street sign, once gleaming emerald with bright white lettering, now barely discernable except as a dull shadow of itself with the streets name lost after the first few letters. Unfilled potholes of the once proud road cause the car to jostle as headlights angle down the street, their powerful white lights sweeping the old homes; I see lawns unkempt and far too few lit houses. The shadowy spectra of for-sale signs, long abandoned, communicated a silent message of despair for the neighborhood.
One, two, three houses I pass on the right until I come to the one that has summoned me. Shadows move hauntingly across the lawn and side of the old house as I turn the car into the broken and weed infested old driveway. Flashes of people and places long missed spewed forth onto the canvas of my mind as the car’s tires, pushing it up over uneven pavement, causing the lights to catch another for sale sign. This one recent, the colors still relatively vibrant, whispers ‘sold’ in bold lettering to me, but I already knew this. I gather my emotions as a painter would hoard his paints and nervously exit the car, taking the first few steps tentatively, slowly, my health not being what it used to be.
As I look around, the cars lights dispelling the dark, I see recent storm damage and possibly vandalism, it breaks my heart, but it doesn’t matter; not to me. My heart pounds with each footstep I take forward; a splash of color to the tens of thousands of long vague and dormant memories, as I close the distance between the car and the house. My chest tightens as my shaking feeble withered hand reaches for the tarnished brass door knob and suddenly all the pain and heartache are gone; I hear a voice, one long lost to the past, my mother’s, calling my brother and I for supper. Suddenly the door opens and there she is, bathed in white light, just as I remember from over sixty years ago, the portrait now complete. As she embraces me all the pain and sorrows of a lifetime fade away and I know, I finally know, that I’ve come home....
-An original piece of work


Then again, sometimes I just want to have someone to chat with, as well as to listen too. Someone to sit with and share a meal, and someone to spend my time with in general, whether it's at home, the movies, out shopping, or having fun at a theme park.

So if any of these written words touch you, send a message, and take a chance...

To she who will dare...   Send me a message!

Profession: Sys/Network Admin
Interests:  Computers, Books, Anime, Fantasy, Working out at the YMCA, RPGs, XBOX 360, Sci-Fi, Movies, Romance, Love, Writing, Education, Snow, Marquette, Gwinn, K.I. Sawyer, UP, Michigan, Manga, World of Warcraft, Dungeons and Dragons, PBEM